Hello hello Beautiful Friends,
'Life is simply too Short'
Things have been a little quiet around here haven't they. Well i've been feeling just sadly numb of late, as my brother passed away in Feburary. I have lost loved ones along the way ... this is by far completely different. My brother Benj was born with a serve heart condition + his beat up 41 yr old body had so many operations n' pacemakers that he was left with a bizillion scars both mentally + physically. All these attempts to maintain his life however let the ugly mental illness called PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) sneak into his life, which unfortunately left us .. his family + bestie friends, estranged for way too many years. Not through our choice, but his ... because he had changed from being such a gentle caring soul, into the most angry volatile stranger. We do have to feel thankful that he left us naturally + peacefully, as his heart had just been through way too much to keep beating, but to lose someone that shares your being + blood, without one last chance to see them or to tell them no matter what, you will always love them. It changes you in ways that you would never imagine.
My Days have been filled with a combination of numbness + a gratefulness of all the tiny amazeball things this fragile life has to offer. Somedays I feel in awe of my little people, but other days i can hardly parent. Everytime I see one of my babe's ultrasound snapshots, I cry for for parents especially my mum + I wonder if they (+ myself) will ever be able to truly feel happiness again. Which makes our lives feel so. incredibly. slow. but for some crazy reason, all around us seems to be bustling along with no thought or care to what we have just lost, but thats they way life goes doesn't it, it just ... continues.
Needless to say, i haven't been able to sew! Sewing + creating has always been my therapy, especially in times of stress, but i can't seem to manage even walking into my studio. So I figure, I probably just need some quality ME time, so for the next month ... i'm taking a break from it all. I want to try + enjoy this beautiful spring weather, my family and friends + just putz away on all things that will hopefully #sparkyjoy in my life again. But as you guys know, i kinda like taking pretty pictures, so i'm sure i'll be posting a bit here + there on the ol' insti @sparkyjoneshats + my personal baby spam account @theselittlepeople.
All I can stress, is mental health is huge people + just like breastfeeding, equality + gay marriage, it needs to be normalized, so its not actually a 'topic', its just part of everyday life + conversations. It needs to be okay to say ..'I'm not Coping'. So i guess thats me right now ... standing on top of the biggest mountain + shouting it out proudly + loudly!
Okay take care of your lovely minds, families, hearts + health as you only have one shot at this wondrous life ... enjoy what you have, cherish what you hold ...+ make it an unbelievably good one!!!
Au Revoir for now my friends
Hello hello Beautiful Friends,